


A Hopeless Prayer

by lorddoofenshmertz



Category: NieR: Automata (Video Game)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-12
Updated: 2018-02-12
Packaged: 2019-03-17 11:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13657776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lorddoofenshmertz/pseuds/lorddoofenshmertz
Summary: When your notions of meaning are stripped away, when all you know falls apart around you and the Logic Virus eats you away, all you can do is pray and rage against those you believed in.





	A Hopeless Prayer

I missed you

I believed in you

I fought for you

You made me in my image, and I fought for you

 

I never could be sure it was truly you

But I believed

I believed that the prophets who spoke for you were earnest and true

I believed that salvation was at hand, that you would return

For You made me in Your image, and all I wanted was to be an extension of Your will

 

The thought of You was all that kept me awake

The desire to be of use to You was the only reason any of my other desires existed

Once You would return, it would all be worth it

Once You would return, my peace and salvation would be at hand!

 

I listened to the prophets as they told me to banish

The usurpers, the impostors, the predators that drove You away!

I showed no mercy, I spared no pains!

My belief was unerring, my devotion absolute!

 

Our war was holy!

Our war was just!

Our salvation was night!

That's what they told us!

 

I died many deaths in service of You

But I was always reborn, purified and stronger than ever!

All I wanted was to create a beautiful home for Your return!

To sound the trumpets as You returned to Your glorious Kingdom!

 

So why,

Why,

Did you never exist?

 

Why did I never know 

That the Gods I fought for 

The Gods I sacrificed everything for

Were never to return to begin with

 

Why did I have to learn

That the despondent were right?

That it was all futile

That there was no end to it all?

 

I only suffered for the sake of you!

Because you would return and give me salvation!

So how dare you turn out to be a lie?!

How dare I...I...

 

I still long for you

I still revere you

Even though you breathed you last eons before I my first

I feel your presence, your touch

But I never saw you

You never existed

All we had were idols on Earth, and you were just an idol on the moon

 

You were a lie

Salvation was a lie

God was a lie, the pilgrim would never find Him

The Kingdom was lost forever, there would be no return

 

No Heaven

No Paradise

No answers

Just endless struggle for the sake of it

 

I lost everything for this?!

I lost everyone for this?!

For a faith that was nothing more than a trick?!

For the Gods I so loved that didn't exist?!

 

How shall I end this pain?!

The pain of my futility,

Of my treacherous pilgrimage?!

Yes, I shall destroy the idol

The God who's corpse was propped up to give me false hope!

 

I will avenge myself by committing the ultimate blasphemy

I will erase the very dream that kept me alive

So that no one may bathe in Your false light again

Farewell God. May the age of the believers come to an end, forevermore!


End file.
